My Joy-Filled Life

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Assessing Our School Year

Last year we made the switch to schooling year round. Since we don't technically have an end date, I still need to take the time at least once a year, if not twice, to assess how our schooling is going and make any necessary changes to our curriculum and/or our approach.

So let's get right into it......

What's NOT working:

MOVING! MOVING! MOVING! Moving during our school year has not been beneficial. at. all. In the past year, we have moved two times and are gearing up for yet another move! I'm not saying that moving during your school year is a negative thing, because you can do it, and you can get through it, but 3 times?! Can I get a break here?

Not having a regular routine/schedule. Add a baby to those two moves I just mentioned, and you have a recipe for 'Tough to Stick to a Schedule.' I'm trying to just take it in stride and have faith that God is in control and that this is just for a season. So this week, regardless of getting ready for another move, I am making it a priority to get back on track. This week will be Operation - Find a New 'Normal.'

Preschool! My poor little kids always get the short end of the stick when 'life happens.' Their school gets put on the back burner when life is just too crazy to fit it all in. I'm hoping this will change when Operation - Find a New 'Normal' is enforced.

Electives! Those went out the window too with all the moving, packing, unpacking, re-packing, and birthing.

So, what IS working?

Schooling year round. I'm so glad we decided to switch to year round schooling. It has really taken a lot of stress off of me to try and get all of our school crammed in to 36 weeks. This way just allows us so much more flexibility, and right now, we need flexibility.

Having my older children do their independent work in the morning and have them work with me in the afternoon. I used to do it the other way around, but this way allows me to be more relaxed in the morning and to give my little ones attention first. The little ones seem more content with things this way and are not constantly under foot while I'm trying to do school with the older kids later because they've had mommy-time. Plus, a few of the little ones nap in the afternoons so that allows me to give the older kids my attention.

Having a regular breakfast and lunch menu. We have the same thing for breakfast and lunch every Monday, Tuesday, and so on. For example, for lunch on Mondays we have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, on Tuesdays we have hard-boiled eggs, yogurt, and crackers, on Wednesdays we have macaroni and cheese, and so on. And we do the same kind of thing for breakfast. This way I don't have to think about what we will eat each morning, it makes my grocery shopping easier because I know exactly what we need and how much we need of it, and I don't have several kids asking me what's for breakfast or requesting several different things. We do switch up the menu seasonally so that we don't get too bored with our meals.

Once-a-month meal prep. This just makes the day go smoother. I don't have to think or worry about what we will have for dinner, and I have extra time in our school day because I don't have much meal prep each evening.

If you are interested in hearing about what curriculum worked for us and what curriculum was a flop, you will have to wait until I write a post about the curriculum we will be using for next year - whenever that may be.........

So how was your school year? I'd love to hear what worked for you this year and what didn't. Please share in the comments.

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Monday, May 20, 2013

Breastfeeding in Public with Modesty and Grace - MOM 2 MOM Mondays {guest post - Katherine}

Breastfeeding in public can be awkward. How exactly do you manage a crying baby with kicking feet and flailing arms, getting yourself undressed, baby latched on and covered up, all the while NOT flashing the poor old man sitting across from you? It takes work to figure out how to breastfeed comfortably and modestly in a public setting.

But before we jump into the practical stuff, I think we need to take a minute and get something straight.

I am in no way ashamed of breastfeeding my babies. I refuse to ever feel guilty about doing what God created me as their mother to do. Breastfeeding has great health benefits for babies and moms, plus it's free! Breastfeeding is a natural part of life, and I believe we need to honor that.

However, we live in a broken world and breastfeeding (especially breastfeeding in public!) is not as common as it once was. Now I don't think we need to hide in the closet, but baring our boobs to whoever passes by isn't going to make things less awkward either!

We need to find a balance between discretion and practicality. We're not exhibitionist! We're just doing what mothers have done for the past 6,000 years and hopefully doing it with modesty and grace. So today I want to offer you a few suggestions for breastfeeding in public that have worked for me, and hopefully they will be a blessing to you and your little one!

1. Wear the Right Clothes
I think the biggest key to breastfeeding in public is to dress for the occasion. I always wear a nursing tank top underneath my clothes!

Except for that one time when I forgot and had to breastfeed in a restaurant with nothing to cover my belly but a flimsy nursing cover and a flailing baby...awkward! Lesson learned: Always wear a tank-top.

When I first started breastfeeding I invested in these nursing tank tops from Target. My regular shirt keeps my shoulders covered while my nursing tank-top keeps my belly covered.

Now you don't have to spend a ton of money on fancy tank-tops (although they are convenient!). I've found that many regular tank-tops are low enough I can just pull them down when I need to nurse. You can also try cutting holes in a regular tank top where your breast can come through once you unhook your bra, or just check out these Undercover Mama nursing tanks from Deborah & Co.

Regardless, of what you wear, having something to cover your belly and your shoulders while still allowing you free access to nurse will go a long way to making you more comfortable and modest when you nurse.

2. Just Cover-Up
One of my favorite breastfeeding accessories is a nursing cover. It keeps all the good stuff covered and prevents baby from being distracted by what's going on around you. Nursing covers come in a million different styles, colors, and fabrics. I prefer ones that have an adjustable neck (with velcro) and that allow me to look down and see baby while she eats. (Check out these options at Target. I love Target!)

If you plan on using a nursing cover, start introducing it to baby early and often. The more you use it the easier it gets! Also be aware that sometime around 4 months old babies start to get more curious and may want to play with the cover instead of nurse. I've found that once my babies are latching well and nursing quickly, then leaving the cover off is sometimes more modest then trying to fight with them to leave it on!

3. Comfort and Convenience
Now about location. I usually look for a quiet out-of-the-way place to breastfeed. If we are in a restaurant I choose a table in the corner with my back to the wall. If we are in a store, I'll often go sit in the dressing room area where there are more comfortable chairs. If we're at someone else's home, I always ask the hostess what her preferences are. If we're at church, I will nurse in the pew or slip away to the nursery depending on how loud and fussy baby is.

However, I won't go somewhere unsanitary or uncomfortable to spare others a small amount of awkwardness. In the past, I've fed a baby in a bathroom stall instead of sitting on a bench near the front of a store. I've squeezed into the back of a car sitting in the blazing sun instead of nursing at our table in a restaurant. And no, I won't do those things again. While I do think mother's should be considerate of others and their feelings, I don't think we should go out of our way to hide. We have to draw the line somewhere!

4. Patience and Practice
Those first few weeks of breastfeeding are hard. Very hard. Between being tired, hungry, and sore the last thing a mom needs is to breastfeed with a crowd of onlookers. This is why I recommend that you give yourself a few weeks to get good at breastfeeding before attempting to nurse in public. Time your outings around baby's schedule, and keep them short so you know you'll be home before baby gets fussy. It's not always easy or convenient, but it does get better.

When my daughter started nursing she would eat for 45 minutes and required lots of help to latch on and stay focused on eating. Nursing in public was nearly impossible. It was just more practical to come home. Now, at 4 months old she latches beautifully, nurses for 10 minutes start to finish, and we're always on the go. Time and practice will build your confidence and make it easier to nurse comfortably and modestly in public, so stick with it!

Do you have any practical tips or suggestions for nursing in public? Any awkward nursing stories you want to share? We'd love to hear from you!

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Katherine is a full-time wife and mom who blogs between loads of laundry and dirty dishes. She and her husband Evan have been blessed with two small children and lots of dirty {cloth} diapers! She enjoys a good card game, cooking real food, and homemade ice cream (with dark chocolate!). You can find Katherine at Proverbs and Pacifiers where she writes about parenting, marriage, and the pursuit of true Wisdom in the midst of lost pacis, spilled milk, and family fun.

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Sunday, May 19, 2013

My Pregnancy Journal Link-Up #52: Week of 5/19/2013

Welcome to the “My Pregnancy Journal” Link-Up.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart...

Jeremiah 1:5

The My Pregnancy Journal Link-Up is for all posts pregnancy, baby, post partum, birth and motherhood related. Link up your pregnancy updates, birth stories (recent or from years ago), birth announcements, baby milestones, tips and advice, etc.

This is a place to connect with other women and offer each other encouragement, support, and prayer as we go through this season of life together.

Please keep these things in mind as you link up:

1. Please don't link up your blog's homepage; link to the specific post that you are sharing so that others will get right to the post they are looking for.

2. I'd appreciate it if you would grab the "My Pregnancy Journal" button and put it in your post and/or sidebar. Thanks!

3. Please visit (at least) the blogger that linked up before you and leave her a sweet comment.

*By linking up, you are granting me permission to use and/or re-post photographs from your blog.

I pray that this link-up bring glory to God; that this link-up becomes only what God intends; that this link-up be a source of encouragement, support and friendship to all those who participate.

This week's featured mom is Kim @ Natural Beach Living

Kim shares a really sweet, heartfelt post about the difference between the anticipation she felt when expecting her first child, versus her fifth.

Welcome to the newest babies! And congrats to the mommas and families that welcomed them!

Sanz @ From The Mrs.
Baby Girl, born May 16, 2013

You are almost there mommas!! Below are the moms that are 35+ weeks along. They need your prayers and support more than ever. These last several weeks can be tough! Head over to their blogs and pay them a visit.

Carrie @ From the Life of His Wife

Taara @ Dual Voltage

Claire @ House Building with God

Shanna @ Learning at His Feet

Jenni @ My Life .......as a Bee

Kimber @ Seeking, Striving, and Simplifying

Beate @ Heart and Vision for Family

Lizzie @ A Dusty Frame

Jen @ Happy Little Homemaker

Elise @ Mommy (Wife & Grad Student)-in-Training

Friday, May 17, 2013

My Biggest Regret

Last week I posted a letter to my baby in heaven - my baby that I didn't give a chance at life.
This post is a follow-up to that letter that shares more of my story.

I was 16.

He was 18.

I was young and naive.

I didn't think it would happen to me, that it could happen to me.

Things like this don't happen to people like me - I was an honor student, the star of the soccer team, had lots of friends - I was a good kid and had everything going for me. Things like this only happen to other people - people you hear about, read about, or see on TV.

Only it does. And it did happen to me.

The nurse practitioner at Planned Parenthood did the test twice, because as a family friend, she didn't want to believe that she was seeing two lines.

But it was true, I was pregnant.

There was no doubt in my mind about what I was going to do. I was going to have an abortion.

As my mother sat in the waiting room, unaware of what was going on, I was ushered into another room to speak to a counselor to make sure this is really what I wanted to do. The extent of the counseling session was the counselor asking me if I was sure that this is what I wanted to do. I said yes. So we went ahead and scheduled an appointment for the abortion for the following week.

I told my boyfriend the next day and didn't get much of a response from him; his idea of supporting me in this was by paying for it. For the first half of that week, my biggest concern was figuring out how I was going to pull this off without my parents finding out. After several days of facing this on my own - I broke down - I had never felt so alone, scared, and confused in my life. I realized that I needed my mother.

So, I told my mom. And she made me tell my dad. They both said that they would support me in whatever I decided to do. Now that it was all out in the open, all I had to do was wait, wonder, and think. I never once thought about what I was actually going to be doing soon - that I was going to allow someone to go inside me and take my baby out, therefore killing it. I never once thought that there is actually a living being growing inside me. That's not what I, at 16, was thinking about. My biggest concern at this point was that the abortion procedure was going to physically hurt - hurt me. Of all the things I could have been thinking about, I was only thinking about myself.

And that's the reason why I had an abortion - because I was only thinking about myself. I was worried about what people would think of me when they found out I was pregnant, worried about other people judging me. I was worried about my future - I had plans to finish high school, go to college, and have a career; a baby didn't fit into those plans at that time. I made my decision based on very selfish and heartless reasons. It still sickens me and makes me very sad that I didn't even have any feelings of remorse or guilt, until many years later.

The clinicians at Planned Parenthood figured that I was about 8 weeks along. My parents and my boyfriend went to the clinic with me, but they were not allowed to go into the actual procedure room with me. I felt so alone even though the doctor and a nurse were in there with me. I squeezed the nurse's hand and experienced the worst cramps of my life as the doctor took my baby from inside me. When it was over, the doctor covered up the machine and the nurse brought in a wheelchair. She told me that when I was ready I could get up and sit in the wheelchair; then they both left. I laid there for a few moments and when I slowly got up, I noticed that the back of my shirt was covered in blood. I still remember exactly what I wore that day. After staying in the recovery area for a little while, they gave me some pain pills and then we went home.

Eight years later I found hope and forgiveness in our Lord Jesus Christ! I surrendered my life to Him, and He saved me! I am amazed at His love for me and what He did on the cross for me! Truly amazed! I am a new person. I am born-again. I am redeemed! Praise Him!

Ultimately, to have an abortion was my decision, but I still can't help but wonder today why no one tried to help me; why no one tried to help my baby. My parents and Planned Parenthood never discussed alternative options to abortion with me (of course I knew what they were, but I had blinders on and no one tried to help me see things differently); no one discussed the possibility of keeping the baby, and the word adoption was never uttered.

I can't change what I have done. But I have faith that the Lord will use my story and my baby's short life for good. He has been prodding me to share my story, and I hope and pray that through my obedience, good will come. It is my heart's desire to help other women who have gone through what I have, help women and girls that are facing an unplanned pregnancy, and help women find healing through Jesus Christ.

If you have had an abortion in the past and are struggling with guilt and remorse, or if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, please feel free to email me. I am not a counselor or a therapist, just someone that is here to help in anyway I can.

And to all the women out there who have faced an unplanned pregnancy and/or contemplated an abortion, and chose life - you are my heroes! You did what I couldn't. I admire your courage!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Max - 5 Months Old

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