If you are human and if you are a Mom, you’ll know what I’m talking about here. You know those days where everything goes wrong? I mean EVERYTHING – from the moment you wake up, the children are arguing, you dump the carton of milk on the floor, burn the toast and realize you’re out of eggs. Homeschooling is a freaking disaster, the laundry is piled so high, you can’t see over it and the toilet overflows. The frustration mounts until it all boils over when your sweet, hard-working husband walks in the door from work. You go to collapse in his arms for a moment of respite, and instead you end up fighting about something irrelevant and insignificant. Sound familiar?
Are you a working Mom? I am – I’m a nurse. The other night, while at work, my patient asked me for some pain medication. I moved to the door, telling her “Absolutely. Let me run and check to see what the doctor ordered for you.” As I was leaving the room, I heard her husband say in Spanish “F***ing white b**ch.”
These crushing, devastating experiences often strike a blow to the core of who we think we are. They make us question our value, our worth and our ability to be who we are meant to be.
My first instinct is to think: “I suck so bad as a Mom.” “I can’t even cook a decent breakfast for my kids.” “Why did I ever think I could homeschool my kids?” “I have the patience of a gnat.” “My husband deserves so much more.” “I should have never become a nurse.”
But here’s what I have learned – these moments are not about us! External circumstances are never about us, our value, our sanity or our worth. We are not at the mercy of our circumstances! For sure, circumstances can often stink, but we have a choice in how we react and how we respond to these situations. It is our decision that sets the tone in our homes and in our hearts.
Easier said than done, I know! I personally find it very difficult to make a reasonable decision in an emotional moment. My less-than-gracious personality is to unleash a firestorm of sarcasm and blame. However, with time, I have learned to take a moment (or sometimes an entire week) to gain perspective. I have to reset.
All Moms need a reset button.
We need to find what works for us and then intentionally use it every time we are in such situations. There are many very effective reset buttons. Some people may benefit from listening to music or playing an instrument, some may find peace in prayer, life enlightenment, meditation, reading, exercise or hobbies. Others find it in wine, chocolate, and / or coffee. No judgement here! My reset button is essential oils.
Essential oils can have a very rapid and direct effect on the emotions. The sense of smell has a powerful influence over thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviors. This makes essential oils ideal to use in situations where you need a reset button. They can be incredibly calming and relaxing, supporting mental and emotional balance. Does this sound like something you could use?
When I need a reset, I pull out my bag of essential oils. My favorites for stressful situations are Stress Away, Sacred Mountain and Joy. I inhale them and apply around my neck and shoulders for an almost immediate reset. It allows me to reconnect with my children and husband, or walk away from ugly situations at work that do not deserve my attention. I am able to focus on what brings me joy.
What is your reset button?