Whilst I’m not a record breaking older mother, I’ve had two children since I’ve been forty. Yes, I’m Varifocal Mum.
In many ways, having children at older ages is not different to having them when younger but I found there are a few subtle differences between have children in my twenties and thirties and having babies at 40 plus.
Gratitude: we waited a fair time to have these children of my old age and in many ways, the overwhelming feeling was of profound gratitude. There are several older mothers in the Bible; Sarah the wife of Abraham, the Shunammite woman who is mentioned in 2 Kings 4, Samson’s mother and Elizabeth the mother of John the Baptist. The birth of their children was joyous and these children were special in God’s sight.
Scanning: we had antenatal scans but knew that, whilst we were finding out how many babies there were, when the baby was due and the position of the placenta, the scan was also looking for “anomalies”. Indeed, the second major scan was primarily to look for “anomalies”.
We made the decision that we would have non-invasive testing for Down syndrome so that we could prepare ourselves and our other children if the risks were high and also so that, if necessary, the baby could be delivered at a cardio-thoracic unit. We knew that not wanting invasive testing, which could potentially harm the baby, we would only have an estimate of risk and not an answer. We weren’t challenged on this, as the risk for both children came out as very low but as an older mother, it is worth thinking through testing, before going for the scan, particularly realising that non-invasive testing will not give a yes/no answer.
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Val Young says
A fellow older mother here now. Nice post!
Stacie says
Perspective is HUGE. I’m a younger (30’s) mother of 5 and the last 2 have been so different from the first 3 because of the change in perspective.
Teacher@Home says
I’ve had my two since turning 36…I turn 40 next year. My own mother had all her children by the age of 25. I’m so tired right now I don’t know how I would manage with a third!
Nicci Spencer says
I had my first child at 24, and just had one a couple of months ago at 40, with a few in between. My body is definitely more tired now than at 24. But, I do feel like I appreciate the brevity of life more now than when I was in my 20’s. My older children seemed to grow up overnight and I know that is how it will be with my younger ones, this time that I have with them will be gone quick. However, I loved being a mom in my 20’s, it was a fun time! I wouldn’t want to go back though, I have learned so much between then and now, being a mom at 40 is great too!! Thanks for your post!
hsmominmo says
Loved this post! I appreciate your honest and positive view as an ‘older’ mother.
I am one of those older mothers. Baby #5 arrived just before my 40th birthday, and babies #5, 7 and 8 arrived at regular intervals.
I ditto all you’ve said. Thank you for speaking up for all us mother’s of advanced age.
momstheword says
I know a gal who got pregnant at 50. It was a total shock to everyone, especially her. She told her 18 year old daughter that SHE would have to help her chase the baby, lol!
Most of my brothers and sisters had their kids in their 20’s. I had my kids in my 30’s. I’ve always said that our kids helped keep us young! 😉
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