Alone time.
It’s that elusive thing that I hear so many other couples talk about enjoying with one another on a regular basis. This precious gem of time that includes only a husband and wife sounds so wonderful but with four children under the age of 8 running about all day, a tight budget that doesn’t allow for babysitters, and a work schedule that is not your average 9-5, it can be quite difficult to get those coveted moments of uninterrupted couple time.
Over the years, my husband and I have learned that we have to be very creative and often spontaneous to get these moments. They are important to maintaining our relationship outside the bounds of parenthood. Here are my tips for finding alone time with your husband when you have a large family:
1. Think Outside of the Box
“Alone time” doesn’t have to mean a lengthy date night or for your children to be shipped off to a sitter. Send the kids off to their rooms for some quiet time or let them watch a movie in Mom and Dad’s room as a special treat. Then you and your hubby can enjoy some time together while they are otherwise occupied. Children should be taught that Mom and Dad are also husband and wife and therefore their relationship with one another is also important away from the duties of mother and father.
2. Set Lower Expectations
I don’t know about you, but I often see posts from other women all over my newsfeed about elaborate date nights or weekend getaways. For many of us with more than the average amount of children, time and budgets simply do not allow for those types of excursions, at least not very often. So what’s a couple to do in the interim? Instead of fancy restaurants, why not ship the kids to the grandparent’s house for the evening and prepare a nice candlelit meal at home? Rather than a long weekend trip, how about a fun day trip to some local interesting attractions? No sitter? After the kids go to bed, dim the lights, and cuddle up on the couch together with a movie. Dates don’t have to be expensive.
3. Take Advantage of Small Moments
Are the children out in the yard happily playing? Are they off in their rooms reading? If you suddenly find yourself alone with your spouse, seize the moment! Snag a few extra cuddles, exchange some “sweet nothings,” enjoy a little canoodling! These moments may be brief and fleeting, but in the long run, little moments mean a lot.
4. Do Chores Together
Most children will willingly run at the sound of the word “chores.” Take advantage of that once and awhile and let them get away with it while you and your hubby wash the car together, do the dishes, clean out the garage, etc. It may not seem like it is quality time, but I’ve found over the years that these moments can often lead to great conversations and bonding.
5. Take a Shower or a Bath Together
Ahem. Steaminess aside, this is a prime time to catch up with one another while children are otherwise occupied. My husband and I will often discuss matters that eaves dropping little ears should not hear (Christmas gifts, anyone?) while we are cleaning up after a long day.
There are many other ways to find those quiet moments with your husband. Every family is different and your opportunities may differ from mine, but I hope that these suggestions will help you realize that even with a house full of children, you can still find time to be just husband and wife.
How do you find alone time with your husband?
This post contributed by Dusty of To the Moon and Back
