Children are a blessing from the Lord. Motherhood is a privilege. Being a wife is an amazing opportunity. Being a keeper at home is considered a luxury by many. It is also exhausting. It is also lonely. It is also trying. It is also overwhelming.
While coming out of that stage sometimes referred to as the “fourth trimester” after the birth of my fifth child I struggled with why everything felt so hard. My house was never clean. The laundry was always mounded up. There never seemed to be enough time to adequately homeschool. Sometimes I felt like I am coming and going at the same time. Who am I kidding, most of the time I still feel that way! I am well aware that there is so much that can drag us “keepers at home” away from our home, making it difficult to, well, keep home. So I make every effort to limit activities that would drag us away. I also know that life can get overwhelming QUICK when you forget to submit your day and will to the Lord and ask for His grace! So I make every effort to stop when I feel like I am spinning to refocus myself on Him, thank Him for His mercy and beg Him for more grace! What I couldn’t figure out why just the ins and outs of everyday things like dishes, schooling, and diapering were so overwhelming at times. Why was it taking longer to get back to some sense of normalcy after this baby? Shouldn’t it be easier since my older children were older now? (8 & 6, but still!)
Then one day it dawned on me. *I* was relying on the Lord but I was teaching my children by my actions to rely solely on me. I was going crazy to make sure they had every need and most wants attended. We have now changed things up a bit. I have begun sharing certain prayer needs with the children (keeping it appropriate of course!) and encouraging them to take theirs to the Lord first. A simple “Honey, Mommy has so much to do today to get ready for our doctor’s appointment tomorrow and picnic afterward. Will you please pray that God will help me get things done in the most important order?” Somehow becoming vulnerable to them in that small way helps my children see that I am not Super Mom. I am just a person with feelings and limitations same as them. Another interesting thing happens when I share with them. They want to help me! Not just to cross things off my to-do list but genuinely want to make my life better because they see what I am doing for them to make their lives better. They also are learning to rely on the Lord for the things they need and want and accepting His answer in stride.
 |
| Purchase this apron here. |
This journey of motherhood is a constant learning process. I am so thankful the Lord loves us too much to leave us as we are and that He doesn’t make us do it all alone!
Blair has been married for almost 10 years to her best friend Brandon. They are high school sweet hearts that fell in love with Jesus while expecting their first child. Together they have five children ages eight and under. You can find Blair blogging away about marriage between best friends, homeschooling adventures with their children, and all the Lord is teaching her along the way at The Straightened Path.
great post! i only have three, but i felt it was more difficult to get to normalcy after my third- for sure! finally, after 8 months, i feel like i have things under control. i learned to move my kids from a dependency mindset, to a self-sufficient mindset. they still need me, of course, but they try to complete tasks independently before they come ask for assistance (they do know if something isn’t safe to come get mommy).
I needed this today! Number 4 is 2 months almost 2 months old and our home is kind of chaotic and I feel like it will never be normal again lol Thanks for sharing Blair!
Thanks for posting this, I am in that “4th trimester” with no. 4 (I have three girls, 6, 4, 2, and our newest one is a boy, 8 weeks!) I am just encouraged to know that I am not alone. Other people struggle with this season too! This morning, after a lecture from Dad yesterday, my 6 year old surprised me by “making breakfast” (Eggos with Peanut Butter)It was such a little blessing that really warmed my heart. She said “Well Mom, I just want you to know that I really love you.” It is moments like that, that recharge you, and help you carry on! You are right, that a little bit of age appropriate vulnerability does make a difference. Letting them know that not only should they rely on God, but that we do too. We fall short, and we sin, and we are not enough! But God is. How funny that we sometimes forget that although we live in reliance to him, that we can include our children in that too. 🙂
What a great (and timely, for me) post! I still feel in the 4th trimester, ELEVEN months after my 6th baby was born! His first four months were non-functional months since he had bad colic day and night, so perhaps that’s all it is? I just don’t seem to have recovered myself the same as the previous times. My eldest is 8 years old so they are all young, and I am 16 weeks pregnant, so heading for another 4th trimester whilst still stuck in the current one! Grateful to God, oh so grateful! I adore all my little blessings! 🙂 But I’m overwhelmed! They do depend on me, and I can’t do it all. My eldest two (8 and almost 7) are in the process of being diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and I don’t know how to train them as they can be so hostile and NOT the helpers I had hoped for in my eldest children years ago. My 5-year-old is easier to work with, and the youngers, but the schooling, training, putting out behaviour fires, housework, etc, is just beyond me. This post is helpful because it reminds me of a good perspective, and also I love the idea of sharing some prayer needs with them – I will try this! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
So thankful you found something to take away from this post! If you haven’t already stumbled upon http://www.amamasstory.com, I think you would really enjoy it. She is an awesome/godly person/blogger but also has the experience of a child(ren) on the Autistic Spectrum.
yes, I been there too, that overwhelming feeling too much too do in too little time, with not enough of me! Thanks for the encouragement this morning 🙂
Oh my goodness, last week was just nuts for our house as well. I began feeling like I lost my ability to ‘keep up’ after my third. Now with 5, I often feel ‘out of breath’. Thank you for the reminder that God is the one who gives strength and grace to manage these crazy days. And I would encourage that those days of refining fire are for our strengthening as well. Especially during trials, we are teaching our children truth from God’s Word. What a wonderful reminder!!
Excellent point! Our being Mom doesn’t mean we have to look (even to our children) that we are Super Mom. We need to be honest and real before them, as if they don’t see it anyway, and that means asking for THEIR help in taking our family stresses to the Lord! What a wonderful opportunity for discipleship for our children!!
Thanks for sharing this on my link-up!!
I love this! What a wonderful lesson to teach children…the more we teach them to rely on the Lord while they are young the more that lesson will stick with them as they grow older!
Rosilind – Thanks for stopping by! Please know that I have it on my list to email you about contributing! I will do that soon!
Blessings!
I love that 4th trimester, lol! Never heard that before. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed after my second child was born.
This seemed weird to me because I had complications with my first child and had to have surgery when he was a week old.
Yet after my second was born it just seemed like I was more tired than I remembered being with my first child, even after the surgery, lol!
It’s a blessing to ask those little ones to pray for us! It will also get them used to asking for prayer for things like that and soon they will be bringing their own prayer needs as well.
Thanks so much for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party today! 🙂