As moms, we want to do our best to be good moms who meet the needs of our kids, and love them as we should. Even with my best intentions as a mom, there have been many times when I just felt like I was a BAD MOM, and I was failing in my efforts.
Sometimes those feelings came from the way I responded wrongly to the kids; other times the thought that I wasn’t a good mom came as I saw behavior in my kids that wasn’t what I wanted.
What should you do when you feel like a bad mom, and you are discouraged about the mistakes you see yourself making, or the negative character issues that you see in your kids?
1. Realize that ALL moms struggle at times!
If we were perfect moms and never struggled or failed, we wouldn’t need the Lord’s help. I realized very early on in my parenting that I needed God’s help, and couldn’t do it on my own.
2. Remember that a bad day doesn’t make you a bad mom.
We all have bad days. Days when we are tired, stressed about situations, or distracted by the many things going on. As a result we may get easily irritated, yell, or be inconsistent.
Other times it’s the kids that are having a bad day! Don’t let it discourage you when they are showing wrong attitudes or when your character training doesn’t seem to be working.
Remember that teaching and training our kids is an ON-GOING PROCESS . You may see some results quickly, but more than likely you will need to teach and instruct in character and right behavior over and over again.
[Tweet “Don’t give up, but be faithful. God will bless your efforts!”]
3. Re-evaluate your parenting habits.
If you find yourself arguing with your kids, realize that you have allowed that behavior. Stop and think about the problems you are seeing in your kids, and see if you can make changes in your parenting to fix those behavior issues.
Do you need to change how you respond? Be sure you are focusing on heart issues, rather than on just changing the behavior.
Sometimes it’s YOUR heart issue as a mom that triggers some of the problems; other times, the kids have heart issues that we must address.
4. Review the meaning of obedience with your kids.
Your kids should know that obeying is doing what they are told right away, with a good attitude. If you have been letting them get away with not listening till you have told them sometime several times, let them know that you aren’t going to allow that any more. After a few days of practice and reminders, let them know that there will then be a consequence when they don’t obey.
You goal should be that they learn (or are reminded of) first time obedience.
5. Re-establish what the rules and consequences are for your family.
Your kids need to know what is expected, what is or isn’t allowed, and what will happen when they don’t obey those rules. Once they know the rules and the consequences, be consistent! They need to know that when you say something, you mean it.
When you are inconsistent it teachers your kids to take chances, and that’s not fair to them.
Being consistent also keeps you calm as a mom. No more guilt at the end of the day if you consistently and calmly require obedience.
6. Don’t be too proud to apologize when you mess up!
When you do lose it with one of the kids and yell at them, make sure you go back to that child and apologize. Even if their behavior was wrong, you are wrong to yell and lose control. When you take responsibility for your actions, you are teaching your kids that they must do the same.
Apologizing for your mistakes is also a great way to win and keep your child’s heart.
7. Speak truth to yourself.
The devil wants you to believe the lie that you are a BAD MOM. He will whisper in your ears, “Just look at those kids and how they are acting! You are not a good mom, and those kids have no hope with a mom like you.”
Refuse that lie and acknowledge your need for God’s strength to be the best mom you can be. Admit your failings and shortcomings, then thank God for trusting you to raise those kids for Him.
Ask Him for the wisdom you need daily, and trust Him to use you and guide you as you strive to be the best mom you can be.
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