Have you lost your joy as a mom? It can happen so easily, and often we don’t even know we have lost our joy! What are some reasons that Moms lose their joy?
SIX REASONS MOMS LOSE THEIR JOY:
It’s so easy as busy moms to stay up late to get “a little work” done, then get up early BEFORE the kids, to get work done while they are still sleeping. However, when we do this on a regular basis, we end up worn down. Nothing steals my joy faster than being exhausted. At that point everything seems overwhelming to me, and worse than it really is. Simple solution? Guard your sleep! Make sure you get the rest you need. (Of course there are times when we have no control over this, such as when sick kids keep us up at night, or we have a new baby).
2. Uncontrolled children.
When children won’t obey, or are in the habit of complaining and arguing, it makes for an unpleasant atmosphere in the home for not just Mom, but everyone. When you find that you are often mad and upset because of the kids’ behavior, take a break from your normal routine and work on the character issues – especially obedience! (I recently wrote a post on this topic: 10 Tips for First Time Obedience).
A house with young kids or many kids will never stay clean for long. There will, and should be signs that kids live there – such as toys and books. However, by decluttering regularly, having a place for everything, and regularly having kids help pick up or put things back, your home should stay fairly organized.
Another valuable part of keeping things organized is having a daily routine in the home. If you’re daily accomplishing your priorities, you will have more peace and joy at the end of your day. Often we let the circumstances of the day determine our schedule, then we feel frustrated and stressed at the end of the day.
I don’t think I need to say more here. We all know that sometimes our hormones can make us irritable, and weepy. I wrote a series of posts on hormone imbalance that talks about the effect our hormones can have on us, and some ways to combat the problems hormones can bring. (Homeschooling & Hormones)
Comparison is the thief of joy! Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other moms. Each of us have different circumstances, and God doesn’t call every family to the same thing. Be the mom God called YOU to be.
6. Unmet expectations.
Blessed is she who expects nothing, for she shall not be disappointed.
When we have expectations of what our kids should do or be, or what our husband should or shouldn’t do, we set ourselves up to be disappointed. Give your expectations to God!
What is the reason you have lost your joy, Mom? Find the cause, then work on a solution. God wants us to be joyful mothers!
“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children.” Psalm 113:9
This was contributed by Kathie Morrissey of The Character Corner
I would also add, that many times as busy mom’s we neglect to often to exercise mentally and physically. Many times we as SAHM moms and mothers neglect to advance ourselves by taking classes on home related subject, such as finance/budgeting, gardening etc. or by working out. Instead of just making thru the day, we should constantly be working on bettering our situations
Martina, you are SO right! We must take time for self-renewal spiritually, physically, and mentally.
I ended up losing my joy by constantly putting myself on the back burner. Everyone else’s needs were met, but I managed to do without … without regular outings with friends, without any interests of my own outside the home, without alone time. I ended up losing my identity as “Lisa” and became mom and wife.
I didn’t even realize it had happened until one day when my kids were quite a bit younger (they are 15 and 16 now), my husband decided to take them on a day trip up to a camp nearby he used to go to as a child. I had the ENTIRE day to myself and was REALLY looking forward to it! It almost felt like I was going on a long awaited vacation. I was so excited for the day to come, I could hardly stand it. Finally it came and after I watched them pull out of the driveway. I turned around and raced around the house in excitement. Turned on my music and danced around for a bit. Then, I decided to watch some TV since I was really never given charge of the remote unless it was after everyone was in bed. Couldn’t find a thing on. Hmmm, what should I do now? Read one of my books I had stashed away for “one day?” No … I wouldn’t have time to finish it. Do a craft? Nice idea, but by the time I planned it out and gathered the materials, the day would be half over. I decided to call a long-time friend that I hardly ever got to talk to because the kids were always interrupting our phone conversations. She stopped calling and when I would call her, she would “let me go” rather quickly (after we were interrupted by one of my little ones) to tend to what I needed to. Anyway, she wasn’t home.
I literally stood in the middle of my living room in shock realizing that I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. Since that I day, I vowed to make time for myself again even though it’s oftentimes hard to find the time. I no longer see it though as being selfish, but rather investing in myself, so I can invest all that much more in my family … with no regrets.
I was there 24/7 for my family and I don’t regret a minute of it, but if I had to do it all over again, I’d make some time in there for me as well.
Kathie Morrissey says
Lisa, you are SO right about that! We HAVE to take time regularly for self-renewal, and renew our minds, bodies, spirits, and emotions. It’s not at all selfish, as it will make you a more joyful mom & wife. It will also keep you from burning out!
Sarah Ann says
YES!!! This was an amazing post and I could identify with each one of these. I’ve lost my joy for each of these reasons and I appreciate the reminder to rely on God alone to fill me with joy and not look to my role as a mother or wife. I can’t wait to read your post on first time obedience. I have a little fellow that needs some behavioral guidance! I’m glad to find you through the Living Proverbs 31 and hope you will link up with me at the new Saturday Soiree Blog Party @ http://faithalongtheway.com. I am your newest follower!
Kathie Morrissey says
Sarah Ann, I’m glad you found the post to be encouraging and helpful! Hope the First time obedience post will give you some tips to help you with your little guy. 🙂 Thanks for stopping in! ~Kathie
This list is so true. I’m working on letting some of these things go like disorganization (I’m a neat freak and the clutter that can’t be avoided with children drives me crazy) and comparison. I don’t want to let anymore sleep go though. LOL.
Angela @ Time with A & N (http://glennbabies.blogspot.com)
Rach D says
I think for me fatigue has been my number ONE reason why I feel so frustrated/angry, etc. and sometimes it is so hard for me to get to bed on time! A bad habit, I know:)
Thanks for sharing and for the encouragement!
Rachael @ http://www.parentingandhomeschoolinginfaith.com
These are all so true and I’ve experienced them at one time or another. It seems as soon as you get a handle on one, then a different one needs some attention! 🙂 #HDYDI
Isn’t that the truth? I guess it’s a good thing that we get a handle on one thing, God points something else out. It keeps us depending on Him!
Melissa French, The More With Less Mom says
Disorganization is my biggest enemy. Thanks for sharing! Hello from Thank Goodness It’s Monday!
Melissa, thanks for stopping in! I think that disorganization is a common problem once we have kids! It’s just hard to stay on top of things – or, sometimes there are more important priorities!
Gentle Joy says
This is a GREAT post….. there are so many distractions for us as mothers…. so easy to lose sight of why we do what we do… and to deny ourselves so much that our health is compromised.. .. I am having to try to recover my health due to adrenal, thyroid and sleep deprivation problems…. it is really hard. It is SO much easier to STAY healthy than it is to GET healthy after our body says “That’s It- I’m done!”. We do not need to be superwoman…. and there is a price to be paid when we try to be that – it isn’t selfish to take care of ourselves…. it is too easy to burn out if we don’t. Thank you for posting this. 🙂
Thanks! Yes, you are SO right about all that you said. I too am recovering from the same health issues, and that’s why it concerns me to see young homeschooling moms trying to do it all. We HAVE to take time to care for ourselves or we won’t be good moms.
Jenessa Mullen says
This is a wonderful post and I can relate to each section!
Carolyn Henderson says
I found relief in my children’s younger years when I took myself off the hook about a clean house. 4 kids, two adults, we homeschooled, and everyone was busy doing something — I no longer looked at the Perfect Wives and Mothers who fussed so about their house, and determined, “Well, this is what mine looks like.” Now, with them all grown and most flown, it’s mighty quiet. Still not particularly tidy, though . . .
Carolyn, that is such a great reminder! Sometimes we have to decide where to focus, and often that means letting some things go in the house. When we have kids at home & we homeschool, fussing about keeping the house always perfect is only going to lead to stress — and an unjoyful mom! ~Kathie
Kathie, These are so true. Being fatigued as a mom is such a common issue. I am truly still figuring it out. I need a little more time to decide how to balance it all. I think relying on God and letting go of some things is very important. Thanks for a very good post. Have a great day!
Hi Elizabeth! Being a fatigued mom is too common. Like you said we have to learn to balance our roles, and know what our priorities are. To do that, we need God’s help. Too hard to try and sort it all on our own, so I’m glad god offers us His wisdom!
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
Kathie what a FABULOUS post! I agree with so many of these.
Hormones are horrible for me. Seriously… I am a short-tempered, irritable mess a few days before my period. I think I need to read your homeschooling and hormones series!
Fatigue is also huge for me. I need to be well rested or there will be little joy.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely day.
Hi Jennifer! Glad you enjoyed the post. Sounds likeyou would enjoy the Homeschooling & Hormones series on my blog with the issues you are dealing with. Sounds so much like what I dealt with so often!
For me, it was an unhappy marriage that sucked away my joy. In recent years, I’ve rediscovered how much joy I have in my life… although fatigue and disorganization occasionally get in my way.
Thanks for linking up at HDYDI!
I totally agree with your thoughts here. I can pin down a few more too, and it’s something I’m trying to reclaim in my life. A phrase in our family is “choose joy.” I often need to repeat that phrase in my head. I am pinning this and featuring you at Meaningful Mama this week. Thanks for linking up with Mom’s Library. Come on over and grab my button to show you’ve been featured.
Makeovers & Motherhood says
Motherhood can be hard, overwhelming, and joy-less sometimes. You’ve identified some great reasons why moms lose their joy, and also given great tips to help regain happiness. Thanks for sharing on Makeovers & Motherhood’s Welcome Party Wednesday Link-Up. Featuring you this week!