….. all the “well-meaning” family, friends, and strangers too.
All moms of large families get them.
The comments!
And large is a relative term; so you may get them with 3 kids or 12 kids. It all depends.
And I’m sure we all have the well-thought-of comebacks we are biting our tongue not to say.
As I just grin and bear it, here are the real thoughts going through my head:
1. YES! We know what causes it, and yes, we know how to prevent it.
2. We only have 7 kids, not 10, 12, 25, or what ever number you decide to assign to us that day.
3. I’ve accepted the fact that I may have to drive I bus or van someday. Whatever gets us from point A to B safely. My 9-year-old would actually prefer a limo.
4. If you are going to ask us if we are going to have anymore, please don’t phrase it like this, especially in front of our kids, “You aren’t going to have anymore, are you?” And in case you are wondering, the answer is, we don’t know; whatever God has planned.
5. No, we are not trying to be like the Duggars or any other family for that matter, and no, we aren’t trying to get our own TV show.
6. Yes, we are busy, but that doesn’t me we don’t like, or are too busy for an occasional visitor.
7. Your sarcastic comments are just that, sarcastic. And in case you haven’t looked up sarcasm in the dictionary lately, it means…harsh, bitter, ridicule, taunting, sneering. Not very nice, huh?
8. When it’s time to give birth, no, they don’t just fall right out.
9. Please don’t feel sorry for us; this is the life the Lord has given us and we feel so blessed and so fulfilled.
10. I am not supermom, or a saint, or full of patience. I can only be the mom I am through God’s help and His grace.
Well put. We only have five, but some people act as if we have a million.
I’m pregnant with #7, so now the comments have really started rolling in!! It’s nice to have a community of larger families that understands each other!
Blessings!
I love your attitude! HAHAHA! I love your strength amidst the disrespect. I only have 2, and when I had my 2nd daughter, my grandpa greeted me with a “Quit having those @#$!? kids” OH MY! I almost wanted to have a bunch just to shock him! Hope you’re feeling good these days – praying for a smooth move into your new home.
Oh no!! I think it hurts so much more when it comes from family!
I’m feeling pretty good; just tired some days! Less than 3 weeks now until move-in day! Can’t wait!
Thanks for the prayers!
#1… and we happen to like what causes it, too!! 😀
You are so blessed!
My husband has recently used that one a couple times; it’s his new favorite response!
I had one mom look at me with pity when she saw me out for a walk with my adorable girl, Amanda and our dog. Amanda is our fourth child and a huge blessing to your family. She then asked me if my daughter would be our last. I don’t plan to have anymore, but I do want to adopt. 🙂
I’m passing the Liebster Blog Award on to you over at http://1camera1mom.blogspot.com/2012/08/my-liebster-blog-award-part-2.html
God bless!
Tina – mom of 4, author and blogger of 5 blogs
I meant “our” family and not “your” family. Oops! 😉
I was out for a walk while pregnant with our twins (plus my 4 kids in tow) and I was chatting with a neighbor and when you found out we were having twins she said, “I don’t envy you.”
Thanks so much for the award! What a blessing!
Oh my goodness, I can’t believe that ANYONE would be rude enough to ask #8!!!!!
I’m amazed and surprised at what comes out of some people’s mouths!!!
We just had #3 and we have been getting all of these comments since we got pregnant! So frustrating! I’ve already been getting used to it though. One thing I read somewhere online, that I haven’t gotten to use yet but can’t WAIT to – when someone says something like “Oh boy you sure do have your hands full!” respond with “yes I sure do, full of GOOD THINGS!” I love it.
And on a happier note, baby Aaron and I made a break for it and went to the grocery store the other night for Oreos (yes… that’s it… just Oreos, lol), and we had a homeless man stop and ooh and ahh over Aaron and congratulate us, a young teen boy congratulate us and offer to get us a cart, and a sweet middle aged woman stop and thank God right there in the store for His new precious little baby. It was amazing, and reminded me that even with all the snitty comments we get, there are still people out there who are full of God’s love and welcome the gift of life. =o)
This is similar to what I say! I only have 3 children but when someone tells me “you sure have your hands full,” I always answer back “You should see my heart” or “It’s my heart that’s full” or something else to that effect. 🙂 I actually don’t mind it when people say it because I know they are just trying to make small talk, at least that’s what it feels like to me. But I answer the way I do because I want my children to always know how I feel about having them in my life…that my heart is full of love for them and from them. I look at it as another opportunity to affirm my love for them in front of other people. Everyone always smiles when I answer that way and on more than one occasion the person has answered back, “That’s a better way of looking at it.” Just a thought for anyone else who gets the “hands full” remark. (Though, sometimes people are surprised that I didn’t agree with them and don’t know how to respond.)
To Sarah Avila, congratulations on baby number 3 and thank you for stopping by my blog to look at my curriculum choices. It is so encouraging when someone leaves a comment!
Kelli – It’s so wonderful to get those kind remarks from others; makes you not care so much about the negative ones.
I love it when I am out with just a few of the kids or just the twins and someone comments that I have my hands full. I usually reply with, “This is nothing, the 4 other kids are at Grandma’s.” Then they look at my pregnant belly with wide eyes! Love it!
Glad to hear from you! Hope you and Aaron and the rest of the fam are adjusting nicely!!
Blessings!
Brandi – I love your outlook on the hands full comment!
We are pregnant with baby #7!!
Although I only have two on earth, God needed two angels before we met them, I think having a large family is great. I was not a strong Christian when I was younger so I did what most do and got tied. However, if I could do it again I would definitely let God plan my family. I know it from both sides. My mom is one of 16 and because of that I have around 100 first cousins. Anyway, keep your sense of humor and just follow Gods lead. God bless you all.
Thanks for the lovely comment Jeanna!
Wow, 100 first cousins! That’s amazing!!
Blessings to you!
Hi Sarah! I just wanted to pop on over and say thank you for the follow! I loved reading this post because I would love to have a big family someday and I now geared up with some clever comebacks if I should ever need them 🙂 Your family is beautiful! So happy to be your newest follower!!
Sure thing Stephanie! Thanks for stopping by and thanks for following!!
Blessings!
Love your answers! As a mom (and step-mom) with seven kids total, we get a lot of the same comments! I loved the people who thought that since we had mine and yours we should automatically consider and ours! LOL
Mindy @ New Equus – A New Creation
http://newequus.wordpress.com
Thanks Mindy! And thanks for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment!
Blessings!
Very good treatment of this subject–I have 15 and still get the question, “Are you done?” My question is, if we were crazy enough to have 15, why would we stop there? God has the last word. Keep up your confidence in God! Jude 17-23
Thank you for the encouragement Sherry!!
My response to #1 after being followed through Wal-mart by an old man was, “Yes, and I’m good at it”. Perhaps not the most Christian reply.
I have four boys. I often get, “Are all of those yours?” , to which I usually point to the youngest and say, “No, there is a sale on this one on aisle 12.”
HA! Love that answer! We “only” have five, and yes, when we are out it’s a bit like a parade. Or herding cats. I’m not certain. Do you really think I’d take this crew places if they WEREN’T all mine. I admit, I’m a compulsive head counter, so maybe that makes people think I have extras along for the ride?
“Compulsive Head Counter” fantastic!! Thanks Meg, I needed to label what I do every time I am out with my four!
I only have 2 children, but I envy your large family!
Love it Sarah! I hope someone wouldn’t seriously ask if you were trying to get your own TV show?? Goodness, no tact! I love big families and they’re interesting to me because I’m an only child and right now, my husband and I have our first 7 month old son. 🙂 It’s neat to get a peek into the lives of bigger families!
Blessings,
Nicole @ WKH
We get ALL of these comments all of the time… we’re having #8 in January, so the comments are just rolling on in. I do especially dislike the ones about how the babies “just fall out”. Um, no, I have to push them all out. (One person asked if they “walked” out. Puh-leeze.)
Our usual response to “you do know what causes that” is “Yes, and we’re going to stop washing our underwear together”… although I’ve been known to reply, “Well, when you find something you’re good at….” Steven likes “We’re going to keep going until we get an ugly one” and I often quip, “We’re trying to outbreed the stupid people.”
Keep up the good work… your kids are gorgeous!
Congrats on baby #8! How exciting! Thanks for sharing your experience and responses! They made me smile!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Very well put and what people feel they should say these days never ceases to amaze me. While I have a small family (due to my health problems) I firmly feel that whether you have one child or 30 children as long as your child/children are loved, well cared for, and positive members of their community then how can you possibly go wrong 🙂 You have a lovely family! Thank you for linking up this week to the Thoughtful Spot Weekly Blog Hop 🙂
Well said! I love how you put it “only” have 7! I’m usually thinking, “get a grip, it’s only 5 kids.” And as far as the babies just falling out, my thought is typically, “I wish.” The absolute strangest comment I had was someone asked if they all had the same father. This was great, thanks for posting it! It’s always nice to read about another large family’s experience. 🙂
I have 4 and am under such pressure from both sides of our family to not have any more. I don’t get it! I’d have 2 dozen more if God led us that way. They love our kids. They think we’re doing a great job. But there so many comments about it. They bring it up any time I even try to lean in to hug my husband, as if THEY don’t know how ‘that’ happens! lol Frustrating. But I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything and if we have more they’ll be precious blessings no matter what the rest of the world says. Thank you for sharing this post. It was very well said and you have a beautiful family!
We used to get #4 all the time, except, because we did foster care and adopted two, it was “you’re not going to adopt any more are you?” almost always in front of my kids. It used to make me pretty mad actually. How rude can someone be? But apparently our offense was multiplied because not only did we have SIX kids, but we went out of our way to bring two of them into the family, and other people viewed our fostering as our desire to adopt 100 kids or something, which was definitely not the case. We just kept the babies the Lord sent us to keep.
I’m a snarky brat, so I usually tell folks that yes, I do know what causes that, and my husband says I’m very good at it. (Pregnant w/baby six now)
Somehow I missed that you had twins! My identical twin boys are almost six!
This was so true 🙂
I have 5 kids and I hear these things A LOT
I was asked while shopping with the baby and my nine year old daughter if I knew what caused it .. I smiled politely and said ” Yes we do and we have found we are REALLY good at it ” and kept on walking – the lady’s daughter was laughing at my response.
I come from a family of 12 so people who know my family ask if I am trying to keep up with my mom – let’s see 5 and 12 – yup seems like a big difference to me.
The no tact thing comes when I have a baby since I have c-sections I have had people who are close ask if I just had them install a zipper – EW and SERIOUSLY ??!!
we get a lot of ARE you done yet and I know a lot is because we have a handicapped son – I drive a 15 passenger van so I just say – there are still seats available 🙂
I just came across your post. I have a lot respect for those with big families. God has truly blessed you beyond compare. I have one boy who is six and we homeschool. So, you can imagine the looks and comments we get sometimes. I would have given anything for more, but that was not God’s plan for us. I think our society looks at children as to much of a burden instead of a blessing as God intended. I hear so many mothers complaining about their children or hear them talking to them horribly in public (I don’t want to even think about what it must be like in their homes). I just want to walk up to them and ask “Do you not know that these precious children are a gift from God and need to be treated as such?”
Well, I applaud you and your husband. I hope God blesses your life with many precious memories with your children that will fill your life with sweetness.
AHH so true!
I remember getting off an elevator at a hotel when we only had 3 kids and I was pregnant with #4. Another guest was smiling as the first 2 kids exited and then looked surprised as #3 came off…and then he saw my large belly and could not help himself from saying, “Oh my!” Now that we’re expecting #5, I’m sure the comments will intensify even more. Some days, they’re easy to take, but when I’m in a hurry or tired, it’s really pretty annoying. May our big families be the sweet aroma of Christ in a world that no longer values children.