But before we jump into the practical stuff, I think we need to take a minute and get something straight.
I am in no way ashamed of breastfeeding my babies. I refuse to ever feel guilty about doing what God created me as their mother to do. Breastfeeding has great health benefits for babies and moms, plus it’s free! Breastfeeding is a natural part of life, and I believe we need to honor that.
However, we live in a broken world and breastfeeding (especially breastfeeding in public!) is not as common as it once was. Now I don’t think we need to hide in the closet, but baring our boobs to whoever passes by isn’t going to make things less awkward either!
We need to find a balance between discretion and practicality. We’re not exhibitionist! We’re just doing what mothers have done for the past 6,000 years and hopefully doing it with modesty and grace. So today I want to offer you a few suggestions for breastfeeding in public that have worked for me, and hopefully they will be a blessing to you and your little one!
Wear the Right Clothes
I think the biggest key to breastfeeding in public is to dress for the occasion. I always wear a nursing tank top underneath my clothes!Except for that one time when I forgot and had to breastfeed in a restaurant with nothing to cover my belly but a flimsy nursing cover and a flailing baby…awkward! Lesson learned: Always wear a tank-top.
When I first started breastfeeding I invested in these nursing tank tops from Target. My regular shirt keeps my shoulders covered while my nursing tank-top keeps my belly covered.
Now you don’t have to spend a ton of money on fancy tank-tops (although they are convenient!). I’ve found that many regular tank-tops are low enough I can just pull them down when I need to nurse. You can also try cutting holes in a regular tank top where your breast can come through once you unhook your bra, or just check out these Undercover Mama nursing tanks from Deborah & Co.
Regardless, of what you wear, having something to cover your belly and your shoulders while still allowing you free access to nurse will go a long way to making you more comfortable and modest when you nurse.
Just Cover-Up
One of my favorite breastfeeding accessories is a nursing cover. It keeps all the good stuff covered and prevents baby from being distracted by what’s going on around you. Nursing covers come in a million different styles, colors, and fabrics. I prefer ones that have an adjustable neck (with velcro) and that allow me to look down and see baby while she eats. (Check out these options at Target. I love Target!)
If you plan on using a nursing cover, start introducing it to baby early and often. The more you use it the easier it gets! Also be aware that sometime around 4 months old babies start to get more curious and may want to play with the cover instead of nurse. I’ve found that once my babies are latching well and nursing quickly, then leaving the cover off is sometimes more modest then trying to fight with them to leave it on!
Comfort and Convenience
Now about location. I usually look for a quiet out-of-the-way place to breastfeed. If we are in a restaurant I choose a table in the corner with my back to the wall. If we are in a store, I’ll often go sit in the dressing room area where there are more comfortable chairs. If we’re at someone else’s home, I always ask the hostess what her preferences are. If we’re at church, I will nurse in the pew or slip away to the nursery depending on how loud and fussy baby is.
However, I won’t go somewhere unsanitary or uncomfortable to spare others a small amount of awkwardness. In the past, I’ve fed a baby in a bathroom stall instead of sitting on a bench near the front of a store. I’ve squeezed into the back of a car sitting in the blazing sun instead of nursing at our table in a restaurant. And no, I won’t do those things again. While I do think mother’s should be considerate of others and their feelings, I don’t think we should go out of our way to hide. We have to draw the line somewhere!
Patience and Practice
Those first few weeks of breastfeeding are hard. Very hard. Between being tired, hungry, and sore the last thing a mom needs is to breastfeed with a crowd of onlookers. This is why I recommend that you give yourself a few weeks to get good at breastfeeding before attempting to nurse in public. Time your outings around baby’s schedule, and keep them short so you know you’ll be home before baby gets fussy. It’s not always easy or convenient, but it does get better.
When my daughter started nursing she would eat for 45 minutes and required lots of help to latch on and stay focused on eating. Nursing in public was nearly impossible. It was just more practical to come home. Now, at 4 months old she latches beautifully, nurses for 10 minutes start to finish, and we’re always on the go. Time and practice will build your confidence and make it easier to nurse comfortably and modestly in public, so stick with it!
Do you have any practical tips or suggestions for nursing in public? Any awkward nursing stories you want to share? We’d love to hear from you!
Katherine is a full-time wife and mom who blogs between loads of laundry and dirty dishes. She and her husband Evan have been blessed with two small children and lots of dirty {cloth} diapers! She enjoys a good card game, cooking real food, and homemade ice cream (with dark chocolate!). You can find Katherine at Proverbs and Pacifiers where she writes about parenting, marriage, and the pursuit of true Wisdom in the midst of lost pacis, spilled milk, and family fun. 
I love nursing tanks!! Their my favorite. I so enjoy nursing my baby. Thanks for the helpful info! 😉
I love nursing tanks!! Their my favorite. I so enjoy nursing my baby. Thanks for the helpful info! 😉
Great suggestions. My first 4 months old, and I love breastfeeding. My only problem with it happening in public is she is such a messy eater, when she pulls off distracted by something we all get showered in milk. and its terribly awkward to hose people down around you. hopefully when she starts solids in a few months my let down wont be so intense. lol totally going to buy those nursing tanks today though! thanks!
Oh my! I can totally relate! My little one still leaks when she’s nursing and sometimes I look down to see a pool of milk in my lap…oops! I’ve also gotten sprayed in the face a few times when she reacts to a loud noise. Lucky, my cover protects those innocent bystanders. Glad the suggestions were helpful 🙂
I have a 2 month old daughter and she truly does not like bottles (a whole other story) so in order to live outside of the house I have to nurse in public and have found that it really is not a big deal- especially with this tips you suggested! The nursing tank is a MUST even if you have a cover, I think, because my back or sides will usually show too. Great blog!
I second Heather – I love nursing tanks! I got mine at Target, too and it’s my favorite 🙂
My daughter doesn’t always like her head covered when nursing so instead of using the nursing cover I sometimes just opt for her (very large) burp cloth. I hang it over my shoulder and part of her head, leaving her face uncovered. It keeps her calm but still covers the side of me. My family in law has been great about helping me nurse in public places, too, by discreetly standing around me and keeping the conversation going while grandbaby eats. This way I’m covered from stares and to people walking by the first impression is just a group of people talking.
We shouldn’t be ashamed to nurse in public. If stores like VS can show their models in underwear, we should be able to nurse.
Thank you for your encouraging post! It’s always good to read other women are nursing in public, too!!
That’s so great that your family is supportive. It helps make it less awkward and more convenient. And using a burp cloth is a good idea too! Thanks for the suggestions.
I love nursing tanks as well. Regular tanks with good stretch also work quite well. I love layering! I usually wear a tank and a cardigan. I also found my boba wrap to be a lifesaver for breastfeeding!!! I could nurse in parks, while hiking, walking in the mall, in the stores, grocery shopping- its amazing!!! Its like a nursing cover with a baby swaddle all in one. no one see’s what I am doing (baby could be napping, for all they know!), and wrapping baby in a wrap keeps curious baby quiet. love the wraps!
Nursing with a wrap is a great suggestion! I’ve tried nursing with my Moby wrap but I always end up tangled and looking ridiculous…I’ve heard lots of good things about the Boba wrap though. I need to get one!
Boba wrap is the best!! I always used mine with a nursing cover. I fed my son EVERYWHERE. Grocery store, church, restaurants, get togethers etc… everyone just thought I covered him up for a nap 🙂
Awesome post Katherine!! I’m very comfortable nursing in public as long as I’ve got my nursing cover on. Now that she is four months old, she’s started this screaming thing until the milk lets down and then screams when its gone. So needless to say, we’ve taken to some more private places for feeding right now!
Oh no! When they are crying and fussing it’s so awkward and definitely hard to be discreet. And thanks for the encouragement!
What a great and informative post! I love all of this! I successfully breast fed my girl for 10 months, and she weaned herself. I love the nursing covers, too. Like you said, though, they didn’t last very long for us. We got hot and she got curious. My #1 tip for breastfeeding in public is to practice at home. When we are home, we don’t care – but we never practice being modest in our own home. Then we feel like we can just go out and do it with ease when we realize, uh – oh!! this is different!
So to a new mom, I would say practice being modest when no one is around!! This is a great post! I’m sharing from my facebook page, The Mrs!
Thanks for linking up!
The Mrs, Mommy Moments co host!
http://www.mrsvolnoff.blogspot.com
Good advice! I practice in front of my husband or just use a mirror so I can see what other people see. It does help you be more prepared for nursing modestly when you need to. Thanks for sharing!
What a great post! I like how you promote modesty in breastfeeding. I am concerned that in nursing moms’ fight to promote breastfeeding in public (which I think is fine – I think it’s humiliating that some restaurants wanted women to breastfeed in the bathroom. ??????), that they were throwing aside all modesty. Even the Bible promotes a woman’s bosom as something to be shared intimately with her husband. This is a very helpful and informative article! Thank you!
I wrote a post a couple of years ago about this same subject. I’ve nursed 3 children into toddlerhood and I’m expecting my 4th. I don’t think you need nursing tanks. 😛 You can buy the more inexpensive “wifebeater” style undershirts and just cut slits in them where appropriate. They work exactly the same and you can get a pack of them for the same price as ONE nursing tank! 🙂
I really appreciate the idea to wear shoulder open tank top while breastfeeding.These types of tops really ease the process of breast feeding and it’s really productive in discount womens tank tops.
I love nursing tanks, but do not love nursing covers. What works better for me is a larger piece of pretty fabric or a shawl tied in a knot from two corners. It is more secure simce the baby can’t really move it, and covers my back amd stomach. I can also wear it as a regular clothing accessory. Just wanted to share becuase I didn’t figure out how great a difference there was for me till my 4 th baby, by chance. It would have been nice to have somerhing better earlier!
Great suggestions! I personally don’t care much for nursing covers, as I feel they themselves draw attention to the fact that I’m nursing. When I do use one, I prefer something like the Reno Rose covers that look like decorative scarves, so it looks more like part of my outfit.
But usually I will cover us with a lightweight blanket just long enough to get baby latched – that gives me the freedom to get things a little more “out,” so I can see what babe is doing. And then I will remove the blanket, or pull it up so it’s just draped across my shoulder and his face (like a Miss America sash, sort of) because my clothes will cover us.
One thing I’ve learned is that, while it’s doable in theory, I *cannot* nurse in anything that buttons – I *have* to be able to lift it.
They never had nursing covers when I was nursing, so I just used a safety pin and put a baby blanket around my neck. I always used a cover and never nursed without it but I wiggly babies and figured that was the best way to stay modest, lol!
Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday!”
Excellent post and very practical. I wish I had had some of the nursing covers when I was breastfeeding. Blankets were my friends! 😀 Thanks for linking this up with me this week.
You know, I’d never thought to cut holes in “normal” tank tops with built-in bras. That’s a great idea. I’ve got a handful of nursing tanks I bought secondhand and practically live in, but for the future, I’ll definitely keep this in mind. My pregnant belly is stretching out a few of my nursing tops to the max, so it would be great to replace them when baby #2 comes along. Thanks for the tips!
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for posting suggestions on how to feed modestly. I am supportive of mothers who breastfeed and think it should be done in public. However, I don’t think it is appropriate to have a special circumstance modesty rule in place for a woman just because she is nursing. Though I don’t have a child (YET!) I do plan on breastfeeding, and yes – even in public! Though it is my goal to do it with the same amount of effort and modesty I put into my wardrobe today. I got a thrashing on facebook for suggesting that mamas need to cover their breasts while feeding in public. WHOOH! Thank you for your suggestions. I am pinning this page to come back to later when I will need it. 🙂
I always wear nursing tank tops! It makes it so much easier. Thanks for the advice!
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Thanks for sharing about breastfeeding. It is so good that encouragement can be exchanged through blogging.Thanks for sharing over at WholeHearted Home this past week.
There is no such thing as immodest breastfeeding!
#desexualizebreastfeeding
How modest you breastfeed is a personal issue, but a little advice from a gentleman. It probably isn’t as important as you think. We are not offended by it. We look away to not offend you. If you are comfortable and you should be. Just simply state that you are comfortable and no need to look away. We won’t. Lose control or think any less of you. Men are inspired by a mom giving so much of herself for her child. It is part of God’s awesome plan. No need to be ashamed. It is truly an honor to witness.
This post is so encouraging to me. My son is 3 months old and struggles to nurse. He was in the NICU for a little over 2 weeks and we still have to fortify my milk with formula. Although I am able to nurse a few times a day now we both haven’t had the practice to be really good at it yet. He has a hard time latching and will nurse and fall asleep the be hungry minutes later. I have heard so many horror stories and know how much he struggles nursing I have been afraid to do it in public. I think I will invest in those nursing tanks and I recently got a cover with a hoop so I can help him while he is feeding. I am grateful to hear that your little one got so much better in time. Thank you!! Sounds like your post has blessed many!