This is a post from Nicole Crone of Children are a Blessing
In our culture, most families have two to three children. Normally congratulations are in order for child #1 and #2. When child #3 makes their appearance, most families are asked the question, “So, you’re done, right?” Subsequent children can be greeted with incredulousness and even pure disdain. This reaction is hurtful from strangers. When family members react this way however, the results can be downright devastating.
As of right now, I have six children and am expecting my seventh blessing in September. When expecting babies three, four, and five, I received a particularly negative reaction from one close family member. I began emailing this person to announce pregnancies instead of telling them face-to-face or even over the phone because the reaction was so very hurtful. These negative reactions can put a damper on what should be a very happy time, which really, is just plain wrong.
What should you do if your own extended family disapproves of your family size? The first impulse that we might have is to lash out in anger ourselves. But would this solve the problem?
I don’t think that it would. We need to show kindness in this situation, even if we feel like doing otherwise. As tough as it is sometimes, we should strive to follow Christ’s example in all things. These are a few things that I’ve done to ease the pain.
- First of all, let’s think before we react. Most of the time we shouldn’t say the first thing that pops into our minds. We must run our thoughts through a filter and ask the Lord for guidance.
- With a gentle spirit, remind the person that the Lord is ultimately in control of conception. Throughout the Bible, we see instances of God opening and closing wombs as well as verses that undeniably declare that God is creator of all.
- Let’s remember that all things in this world (including children) are created by God’s will and for His pleasure. Revelation 4:11 is such a comfort to me. It reads, “You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” (NKJV) While dissenting family members might believe that these babies were created by our own will, the Bible clearly tells us otherwise.
- If the family member still complains, smile and let them know that you are very thankful for this precious gift. Sometimes people insist that their opinion be heard…loud, clear, and repeatedly! Do not lose heart, and keep your mind focused on your blessing.
- Remember that once this child arrives, the family member will most likely change their tune. While this is little consolation at the time, within a few months most family members who were “against” your pregnancy will change their minds and embrace this sweet new life.
Dealing with a dissenting family member can definitely be tough! With the Lord’s help, we can show His grace and love while pointing out the Biblical account of were pregnancies actually come from.