Every day I seem to notice a new opportunity to choose my individual goals and achievements over my family. There are volunteer opportunities, opportunities for career development like Clinton School of Public Service, and plans for income that would require realigning my family focus to the side of the spotlight. I am always weighing the impact on my family of opportunities to serve and work outside of my home. It can feel like a battle of what is best for them and what is best for me. I have to reconcile my will for my life with what is needed by them that I can fulfill with my life.
What is God’s will for my life and what is mine?
Are we in agreement?
Christ died for the church.
A supreme sacrifice in the human form. Giving up any future, any marriage, any children, wealth, extended human life, power, career of his choosing. A total submission to God’s will. He did not pursue what he wanted. He pursued what God wanted/needed him to do. He made that his mission.
When I was blessed with a child, I was given a form of God’s will on my life. I can not imagine that God was thinking, “Here, take this child and spend as little time as possible with him/her. Be sure to always assume nothing matters ans assume you have nothing to offer. Assume others know better than you with how to raise this child. Be sure to doubt yourself and what you have to offer him/her.” Many moms live every day thinking that. We doubt our decisions and choices daily, almost constantly. There is not a lot of outside praise to help us recognize when we are doing a good job as a mom. It can be hard to feel successful on the challenging days when we perceive challenge as failure and ease as success. It can be tempting to give up on our families.
Temptations are around us daily, trying to tell us that what is important is fulfilling the self rather than fulfilling our service. There is a battle inside many of us to choose between the rout that provides us with time and attention for those we love and the choice to push forward with what we individually want – what we think will make us happy.
Happiness is a choice to be joyful in our present situation no matter what it involves.
I spent some time getting IV treatments for anemia when I was in college. Another way Crohn’s disease altered my life. My treatments were held in the same unit as people with cancer receiving chemo. Most of them smiled at me as I walked in to take my less-potent IV fluids than what they were receiving. They smiled…they were sharing joy yet they were fighting for their lives! They assumed I was there for the same reason as them – to beat cancer. I remember their kind smiles always, especially on the challenging days when I want a break.
You can have a disease and be joyful. You can be poor and be joyful. I was a poor newlywed, and my husband and I, although stress about finances at times, were happy to have each other and the chance to develop our relationship despite the financial challenges. There are still financial challenges today while we balance living on one income. It is our choice to be joyful in it knowing we are balancing family and serving the needs of our family first.
Challenge is a blessing in disguise.
We can be joyful in the moments of cleaning up poop, spilled milk, and crumbs that seem to breed when no food is even present because many women incapable of conceiving would trade us in a heartbeat. I know it sounds silly and this message is not popular, because we are taught to favor ‘ease’, ‘pretty’, ‘power’, and ‘worldly reward’.
The path we are on is a blessing to our families even when it does not feel nice. “Blessing” often means: challenge, learning experience, not what I expected, frustrating, life-altering. We can allow the blessing of being a mom change our lives so we can be more in line with what God need from us. Let it adjust our visions for our lives in this season. Let God’s will become your will, joy, and contentment, and peace will never be missing.
Jaimie Erickson is a military wife, mom to two with twins on the way, former teacher and author of the blog, The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide. She shares faith-based motivation for moms, tips related to homemaking, and developmentally appropriate (and simple to create) learning activities for infants through early elementary-aged children, all to help moms find the joy despite the challenges of motherhood. Connect with her via: Facebook, Google+, and Pinterest.
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Ah, the ever present battle for our time as mothers. We have pressure from the outside world to “be involved” in every opportunity that presents itself, and we have the (often) overwhelming responsibility of caring for our homes and families. I struggle with this all too often – wanting to be involved in all of the “good” opportunities that are presented to me (especially when it involves ministry at church), but I have to remember that in this season, my young children need Mom to be less committed outside the home and more committed at home.
Thank you for this post and its message to moms!
Hi Ashley, I completely agree. The time we have with our children while they are young is so important, and goes so quickly. Contentment in this season of life is important albeit sometimes challenging to maintain. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Yes, I continue to battle questions of “should I stay home? work per diem? work part time?” I am currently on my 3rd maternity leave.
http://shilohsstory.blogspot.com/2013/12/working-outside-home.html
Thanks for sharing that post Shiloh. It’s a struggle for many moms, and I don’t think there is one right answer all the time for everyone. My mom worked part time night shift so she could be home and not put us in daycare during the day-it taught me a lot about her sacrifice for our family. Work sometimes is necessary. I pray that you can find the balance that is best for your family and God’s will for your life.
I’m finally reading a post from someone who speaks my language. I know a lot of mom bloggers are stay at home moms but it is just a difference when you are a believer in Christ and you hold your responsibility as a wife and mom up to biblical standards. People honestly don’t understand that it is a daily sacrifice of denying yourself for the needs of others. This is completely opposite of what our society teaches us to do. It was so refreshing to hear a mom that focuses on family first not on trying to make an additional income if that is going to sacrifice family, who is living day to day to be content even though you are living on one income and you and your family have just what you need. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Amen, Brittnei! We do speak the same language here. The act of self-denial of “wants” is seen as so scary nowadays. I don’t find it as painful as society makes it out to be. It is quite rewarding especially for those of us who understand that our reward is in heaven..not of this world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks so much for your thoughts, Jaimi – wise as always. Currently I am struggling with despair and depression as this pregnancy goes longer than I’ve ever experienced… trying to hand my fear and worry over labor and delivery to God and also accept his timing, even if that means a dreaded induction. “Let God’s will become your will.” Amen! I’m praying that my heart allows me to do that!
I’ve learned that I’m not going to get a lot of worldly rewards for what I do each day. However, I feel rewarded when I see the smiles on my children’s faces and my husband reminds me of the importance of my role in the family. Great post!