I’d have to say that I’ve never really been a “people-pleaser.” Even before I knew Christ.
But did I want to impress others? You betchya!
I used to want others to believe that the grass was greener on my side of the fence. That I had my life all together – my house was always immaculate; I had dinner on the table when my husband arrived home from work; my kids were always well-behaved; and I DID NOT suffer from PPD.
I wanted other people to think I was an excellent mom and wife, and to do that I needed to be perfect, at lease on the outside.
Even if you don’t know me, you know that my life was NOT perfect – no one’s is. I slowly began to learn this after I found Christ and I began to form friendships with women who were in the same season of life as me. Be it was a slow process; it wasn’t something the Lord took from me immediately after I gave my life to Christ.
Little by little, I saw inside other women’s lives – and you know what? They were a lot like me. They feared what other people might think of them; they tried to impress others from the outside; their houses weren’t spotless; many suffered from some form of depression; and what was for dinner? A bowl of cereal?
Slowly, over the past 9 or so years, I have struggled less and less with the fear of what other people think of me and my family life.
You homeschool? You’re crazy!
You have seven children? You’re crazy!
You’re a stay-at-home mom? You’re crazy!
You submit to your husband? You’re crazy!
And you’re happy with all of the above? What’s wrong with you?
These kinds of thoughts from others don’t bother me anymore. And you know why? Because I’m honoring, obeying, and pleasing God. And that’s what really matters.
I need to be focused on impressing Him, not man.
This really hit home recently when I made a comment to a newer friend of mine about how we didn’t have company over very often because it was hard to keep the house clean and presentable.
Her reply was, “We open our house to bless, not impress!”
Whoa, that hit me hard! Boy, was I convicted!
Ever since she spoke those words (which I believe was the Lord speaking through her), my fears of what others might think are practically gone. Not completely – I do still struggle with those thoughts from time to time, but not to the extreme as I did before.
So………………
It doesn’t matter what the other hockey moms might be thinking of our decision to homeschool;
It doesn’t matter that I answered the door in my pajamas (and my house was in disarray with the kids running and screaming in the background) when the neighbor stopped by to welcome us to the neighborhood;
It doesn’t matter that the cashier was giving me pitiful looks as I maneuvered my pregnant self through the checkout with six kids in tow.
It doesn’t matter that my mother doesn’t agree with my submission toward my husband.
What does matter, is what God thinks!
I want to please Him! I’m going to trust in the Lord and follow His commands!
Fear of God vs. Fear of Man {Week 2: Marriage & Mommyhood}
Agenda-Driven vs. Spirit-Led {Week 3: Marriage & Mommyhood}
Perfect Space vs. Peaceful Spirit {Week 4: Marriage & Mommyhood}
Sharing with:
Hearts 4 Home @ Our Simple Country Life
Thriving Thursdays @ Serving Joyfully
Big Family Friday @ Holy Spirit-Led Homeschooling
Faith Filled Fridays @ Beholding Glory
Homemaking Link-Up @ Homemaker by Choice
Weekend Whatever @ Your Thriving Family
Monday’s Musings @ What Joy Is Mine
Welcome Home @ Raising Arrows
Mama Moments Mondays @ A Mama’s Story
The Better Mom Mondays @ The Better Mom
Moms Against Manic Mondays @ From My Mountain View
Mommy Moments @ The Life of Faith
Modest Mondays @ The Modest Mom
Titus 2sday Link-Up @ Time Warp Wife
Teach Me Tuesdays @ Growing Home
We Encourage @ Call Me Blessed
Heart and Home Link Up @ MercyINK
Women Living Well Wednesdays @ Women Living Well
Encourage One Another Link-Up @ Deep Roots at Home
WholeHearted-Home Wednesdays @ Haven of Rest
Followed you here from Thriving Thursdays with Serving Joyfully. I saw the title of your blog, and just had to come by. I believe we all struggle with this, and no matter how many times we tell ourselves that it is God we need to please deep down inside we do care what others think. Just a couple of weeks ago my step son came to visit from TN with his girlfriend who we never met before. They are both in med school, and very intelligent people. Well, of course I wanted to make a good first impression, I was cleaning, and trying to make everything look perfect, than I stopped, this is our home we LIVE in it. While I feel I could have made more of an effort, I didn’t what she thinks is what she thinks, I am not out to impress her, I want to impress God. Thanks for blog.
Joyce – thanks so much for stopping by. I agree, we can easily get caught up in worrying about what others think and impressing them. We just moved into a new house, and I keep putting off having people over because the house isn’t “ready” yet. And it probably never will be! lol!
Blessings!
I loved this, Sarah!! I am not a good housekeeper by any means, but we LOVE having people over. And not that I’m trying to fool anyone, but we use guest visits as motivation to clean! So, by inviting people over regularly, we clean regularly. That’s horrible, isn’t it… But even cleaned, it’s not perfect!! The goal is community, not cleanliness. Thanks for the reminder, and for linking up!!
Thanks for the comment Kayse! You’re right, it won’t be perfect. So enjoy each other, rather than a perfect space.
Blessings!
Great reminders! May we continue to make our decisions based in God’s Mind and Heart. We have a guarantee that it usually won’t make sense to those not doing the same…but we have a pretty good cloud of witnesses to follow. 🙂
Well said! Thanks for stopping by!
Blessings!
Amen to this!! Realizing who has the power, that’s what matters! Beautiful and inspirational post!
New follower from the link up.
Falen
http://www.upwardnotinward.com
Thanks Falen! And thanks for becoming a follower!
Blessings!
I just chatted with the girls in our youth group about this topic last night. It’s scary how much the fear of man is motivating women of all ages even within our churches! Have you ever read When People are Big and God is Small? It’s such a great book and it totally convicted my heart on this topic and made me think critically about how I will teach my children. Love this post! Thanks for sharing! – Tyanne
Thanks for stopping by Tyanne! When writing this, I didn’t even consider how this is affecting the younger generation, but unfortunately it is so true, in and out of the church.
I will definitely check out that book, thanks for sharing.
Blessings!
Thank you so much for this. I struggle with this too and the problem is you will never please people but God will always love you as you are. He is whom we need to please. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. ~Bill Cosby
and Galatians 1:10
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Thanks for the wonderful words AmberRay!
Blessings!
I just want to say that your words here are a blessing!! I struggle with inviting others over because my four like to make messes all of the time. I also struggle with people thinking having four kids and being a stay at home mom is crazy. I also have people who do not understand my devotion to my husband no matter what. I love what your friend told you and it spoke to my heart as well. Invite people over to Bless not Impress!!! WHOA thank you Jesus for words of truth. I am not a new follower of yours.
Love
Patricia
http://thettdiaries.com
Patricia – Your words mean so much to me! I’m so glad the Lord spoke to you through this!
It can be a struggle, but it’s something that has become easier and easier as time goes by and as you draw closer to the Lord.
Lifting you up in prayer and praising God that He has shown you the Truth!
Blessings!
Sarah…great post! The sweet reminder that what we do in obedience to our Father is not always going to be the popular road to some people in our lives BUT its always what is best for our families because God designed it to be. Thank you for sharing at WJIM. Have a fabulous week.
Thanks for the kind words Naomi! Always enjoy your link up!!
Blessings!
Mostly what we do to please the Lord will not get us kudos. What I want to hear is ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.” Thanks for the honest truth! Bless you as you strive to glorify Jesus!!
Thank you so much Jacqueline! Those would be wonderful words to hear!
Thanks for stopping by!!
Blessings!