There are toys all over my floors. My dishes are piled high above the sink line. My baby is sticky with food in her hair.
My boys are fighting and calling each other names. Dinner isn’t exactly the most appetizing meal. I get mad, I yell, I am not the mother I hoped I would be.
I can’t do it all. I don’t do it all. I don’t even think I do half of it the way I’ve planned it in my head. I have plans for my week, and a check list of things to do, and a yearly planner that I fill in what I’ve accomplished that week. However, it doesn’t seem like I’m able to check off many things from my list.
When I imagined myself homeschooling, I imagined my children sitting down at the table and doing their work obediently; I imagined wonderful meals and a clean home. Boy was I way off.
My son is behind in math; we’ve had a bad year and it’s not because he’s not trying, but my expectations take over and I find myself as the mean teacher rather than the loving mother.
I’m so glad we’ve been off this summer. We’ve had a chance to take a break and just enjoy being with each other.
I am not perfect, no one is. I can’t expect a perfect house or perfect children.
I must accept the fact that I don’t do it all and no one said I had to. I have to learn to let the little things go and look at the bigger picture.
Do you go to battle with your child over the last two questions he didn’t finish or do you praise him for finishing the 28 questions prior?
What I can do is involve the kids in our house work and have everyone pitch in. Everyone has a job and everyone helps. We do one big clean up at the end of the day. Things get messed up too easily and I’m ok having my house look like a junk yard during the day. However, at the end of the day, we clean it up and it looks like new.
What I can do is plan for surprises. We do school 4 times a week and have a catch up day on Friday. This way if we missed anything, it allows me a grace period to get it done.
What I can do is remember that I am imperfect. I get mad, upset, but I also apologize, I try to lead a better example. I can only do so much. I am human.
I was given these 3 little monkeys to raise and I am doing the best I can. They are funny, rambunctious and full of life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I have not had a full night’s rest for almost 2 years since my body is at the mercy of a nursing toddler. I could send my children to school full-time, however, we’ve chosen this path. And despite the mean mommy that comes out when I lose my cool, my children still prefer to be homeschooled.
I try to do a little better each day, reflecting on things I could change, but all I do is try. And I continue to try each and every single day to be the mom that I envision, but knowing that it takes work and no one is perfect.
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Monique homeschools her 3 little monkeys while blogging at Living Life and Learning. She loves teaching math and science, her two loves. She also designs blogs at Fantastique Designs, loves chocolate, baking, and reading. You can find her on Pinterest, Facebook, or Google +.
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